Christian dating getting to know each other
Or, we throw casual dating out the window and expect to marry the first person we date right off the bat. Aristotle said that virtue is the mean between two extremes. Thomas Umstattd wrote a great article in defense of casual dating; he argued that courtship (which made a comeback in Christian culture with the book by Joshua Harris) puts too much pressure on people to marry the first person they court because it’s taken so seriously.Casual dating offers this mean: men and women go on lots of dates with different people for the purpose of getting to know each other. We reclaim Halloween, which celebrates death, by celebrating the vigil of All Saints Day, or “All Hallows Eve.” Popes have exhorted us to use the media for the glory of God. With casual dating, there’s less temptation, more interaction, more self-awareness and honestly, more fun.When you first meet someone who interests you, it's common to be infatuated, but over time, you want to get to know the person better and have some honest conversations.There are a million things to ask a person, but the most important questions depend on the stage of the relationship and where you want it to go. As you learn about each other, it's fun to ask silly questions and laugh together.We have to be bold and clear with the other person of our intentions.Still, we have a tendency to take dating so seriously that we never even make it on a date!The world tells you that the point of dating it to find out what you like and don’t like. Christian writers and speakers always say to look for a man that will be a spiritual leader, but how do we know? When you talk to him, ask him if he thinks this guy would be a good spiritual leader in a relationship. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs ESV). Remember, you can not miss out on God’s perfect plan for your life when you follow him and live by the Holy Spirit.
There are both fun and serious questions you can discuss as you're getting to know each other.Today we are kicking off the Biblical Dating 4 Part Series! As much as you don’t want to hear this, I would say no. Since he shared his heart with me, he expected me to share my heart with him. I did not need to know about his past that early into our relationship. Spending time together will allow you to get to know him. Just think before you share – especially if you’re not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet.You know those questions you have always wanted answered? This series will include questions about the pre-dating friendship, dating, and physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries. God has taught me a lot about guys, dating, and purity the last few years and I’m glad my pain is now being used for good. Groups is best for the early stages of the relationship. The world tells you that you should constantly spend alone time together. Groups are the best way to get to know someone and protect your heart. Instead, I wanted to get to know the man he had become, not the man that he was. If you go too deep too fast and then end up not dating, you will feel exposed, lost, and even more hurt. In college, I dated a guy who was the “great” Christian guy in our college ministry. Serving is a huge sign that this man will serve and lead you and your relationship. Life will happen, and you will see how he reacts to life.Ever had these thoughts about someone you are dating? Too many of my friends are finding themselves there now too.I can’t say that I’m an expert on relationships, but if there is one thing that I feel like God taught me during my dating years (and it took about three years too many for me to learn this) it is that you should never settle for less than God’s best.