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If you back me up a few years — sans wife, kids, dogs, published book on relationships, 1.5 million readers and fans following my relationship advice on Facebook — I was a chronic womanizer; a past she knows about, but never experienced personally. In effect, to become so alluring that she would willingly give herself over, thinking that having sex was her idea.
Like most partners, she initially didn’t buy into the concept of sex addiction (“it sounded like a pretty weak excuse for an affair”) and even when she did start to believe that her husband’s behaviour was compulsive, her friends didn’t (“they’d look at me in despair, asking since when had sexual desire became a monster that can’t be controlled”), leaving her feeling isolated.
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Eight years into her marriage, Rachel started to wonder if her husband had lost interest in sex.
“He’d always go to bed later than me and often made excuses when I brought it up,” explains the 41-year-old.